ADHD is so often misunderstood; it's one of those invisible disabilities where people can assume the struggle isn't real... but I can assure you, it is. I explored visually what it can feel like in my recent film and so far it has had a warm reception from sufferers and allies. 

Hot Mess is a semi-autobiographical depiction of my experience living with ADHD. Growing up the people around me couldn't understand the most visible traits I displayed (such as being an absolutely chaotic 'Hot Mess')... it may have been in jest, or with good meaning, but words can hurt and stick around - I was conditioned to think I was broken, stupid, a failure. 

Later in life though I found out ADHD was what made me the way I was, and oh the relief! Finding this out a little later in life however brings with it a burden of grief - what if I had known sooner, could I have achieved more? Had less failures and problems? Perhaps. 



About the Project

Infusing life into inanimate objects is the most fulfilling and awe inspiring gift to be able to do. 

I've loved stop motion animation for as long as I can remember. My first foray with the technique was in my teens when I experimented with a camcorder and some coloured sticky tack. I went on to study animation at University... but despite being a great animator the art of filmmaking was a struggle. My dyslexic/ADHD brain just couldn't seem to get a story out of my head and into a film. I gave up for a while, but the draw of stop motion was so strong it kept pulling me back. 

Last year an opportunity came up with Aardman (the makers of Wallace and Gromit, Chicken Run and Shaun the Sheep). They, for the first time ever, were inviting filmmakers to their studios, through their Academy, to make short films with their support. It was a pretty expensive venture... but I wondered could I actually finish a film with their outside accountability and the structure this program would provide? I applied. Got accepted. Borrowed a huge amount of money. Relocated to Bristol for six months. And made a film! I actually finished a film, that I was proud of - this was worth every penny! 

The biggest and best takeaway, I figured myself out... the trick was to do things my own way (which sounds so simple), but it is drummed in so hard that you 'should' follow industry best practices at ever stage. Turns out doing things in my own (outwardly looking haphazard way) actually was the secret sauce I had been missing over the last decade of trying. 

I'm already in pre-production on my next short... but money is still an issue. Stop motion animation is expensive and being a mostly solo filmmaker securing funding is quite a task. I'm determined though and looking to partner up with different brands and sponsors to make short filmmaking possible for the rest of my life. Making short stop motion films is what I love, what I am good at and what I am in the process of figuring out how to get paid for. 

About the Team

A voice message triggers all sorts of anxieties in Andro, but will they be pressured into trying to change their ways?

Hot Mess offers an insight into the intrusion of emotional abuse and ADHD in a compact and creative way. It highlights the damage and anxiety caused by a well-meaning, but ultimately toxic, parent who uses the power of voice to belittle, flatten and manipulate.

Voiced by Nicola Walker (Last Tango In Halifax, The Split, Unforgotten).

Hot Mess

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